Tag Archives: Letters to Noah

With All My Love… #7

My dearest Noah,

You’re five months old today! I marvel daily at how much you’ve grown, especially when I’m nursing you, because that’s when I get to zone out look at you closely. You’re taller now, and Daddy and I were just reminiscing last night about how tiny you were when you were born. I remember how auntie, our confinement lady, would bring you to me at night for me to nurse you, and how much we struggled to get into the routine of breastfeeding. She would help to position you properly, and then help me to latch you on, like fixing two Lego bricks together. You were so small then that your legs barely extended past the width of my belly, but now, you can rest your feet comfortably on the bed.

Speaking of Lego, I’m really looking forward to the day that you’ll be old enough to play with it. Right now, you don’t have a favourite toy, apart from Daddy, I mean. Your fingers are really quite short, something which I think you inherited from me, sorry, but it means that you have difficulties holding big items. You’ve got no problems grabbing our fingers and pulling my hair, but your fingers are too short to curl round Sophie the Giraffe’s neck. Soon, okay?

You’ve learnt how to play with people and everyone loves what a happy baby you are. You smile readily at everyone and chortle with glee when we play with you. Sometimes, we don’t even know what you’re laughing at, but hey, we’re not complaining! Just today, you peed on yourself four times and you seemed to find it hilarious, giggling away as I cleaned you up and scolded you for creating such a mess. Your eyes twinkled and you kicked your legs so happily that I just couldn’t get upset with you. I love pretending to chomp on your chubby arms, which always gets you giggling. You’ve been sucking on your hands and everything that you can get your little hands on, but as long as it keeps you happy and quiet, I’m okay.

Oh yes, grandma taught you how to ‘knock heads’ with people and we’ve been getting you to do it quite a bit these days because you’re so cute when you do it. I confess that when grandma told me that you could understand her when she tells you to ‘knock head’, I told her that you probably did it involuntarily as your neck isn’t strong enough. I was so surprised and amused when she demonstrated it to me a few days ago!

I still haven’t started you on solids yet, because I really don’t think that you’re not growing well. You seem perfectly fine, smiling away all the time and I mean, look at your chunky thighs! Anyway, after discussing it with daddy, we decided to put it off for a while more. I enjoy nursing you, even though I keep getting blocked ducts, because you seem most baby-like then. You’re growing up so fast that I just want to keep you as my baby for as long as possible. Solids can wait!

It’ll be your very first Christmas in two days time, and I’m looking forward to it. You probably won’t know what’s going on, but we’ll take photos and show them to you when you’re older. We’ll have to come up with Christmas traditions soon, but one of them will definitely be going to church on Christmas morning itself. I look at you and imagine how much love Mary must have felt for her baby that night too…

Baby, you’ve brought papa and mama so much joy these five months and we are truly very blessed to have you in our lives. Happy fifth month, darling. May our God continue to watch over you and bless you with good health.

With all my love,
Mummy

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With All My Love… #6

Dearest Noah,

We just got home from the airport after sending daddy off on his business trip. You were a very good boy while we were out and fell asleep in your carrier just before we left the airport. When we got home, I wasn’t in the best of moods, knowing that we have to wait till Friday to see daddy again, but you were extra cheerful and that made things a little better for me.

You’ve been laughing on and off over the past few days, but each time, it would only be a chuckle or two. It’s such a joy hearing you laugh! Just now, as I was praying with you and singing to you, you were so tickled that you laughed for quite some time. I don’t know what was so funny about my prayer but I just couldn’t help but laugh along with you, because you looked so happy and amused. My heart ached though, wishing that daddy were here at home with us to witness it. He loves you so very much, darling, and I know he’ll be upset that he missed it. You’ll laugh again for daddy when he comes back, right?

Daddy’s been pretty much working from home since he got back from his last business trip, and I’m very thankful that we got to spend some quality time together as a family. We’ve gone on short walks downstairs, brought you out for car rides, read books to you, watched tv while you watched us… It’s so nice watching you interact with daddy. I love seeing how your face lights up when you see him, how you track him with your eyes as he walks around and how you grin that toothless, adorable smile when he talks to you. Daddy won’t be able to spend as much time with you after this trip, and he’ll go on more business trips now and then too,ย but I know he will do his best to spend time with us whenever possible.

Well, it’s going to be just you and me, baby, for a few days, so be good for mummy, okay?

With all my love,
Mummy

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With all my love… #5

Hello baby,

You’re two months old today! This month, you’ve gotten more responsive and when daddy came back from his two week business trip, he said you had changed so much. You now smile quite readily at people, and I love talking to you and coaxing a smile out of you. You still don’t seem to enjoy being carried by either one of us, but hopefully that will change soon. You’ve started sitting in your bouncer quite often and that’s where we have our story time daily. I don’t know if you even know we’re reading to you! I’ve told daddy that we should read the same book daily to you but he insists that he needs variety. So far, we’ve read ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’, ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?’ and mummy’s favourite, ‘Barnyard Dance’. You don’t cry as much during bath time, except when I’m wiping your face or washing your hair. Diaper changes are slightly better, although you still cry occasionally. You cry each time you have tummy time and we really hope that you will get used to it and stop crying soon.

The past few days have been very stressful for daddy and mummy because you’ve been producing dark green poo, instead of the usual yellow poo that breastfed babies usually have. We’ve brought you to see Dr Ellen and even emailed her photos of your poo (being a doctor means having to deal with disgusting things). We’ve also prayed many times with and for you, asking God to help you.

Last night, while I was praying for you as I nursed you, a song suddenly came to me.

Trust in the Lord, with all your heart
And lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways, acknowledge Him
And He will carry you through
Don’t worry about tomorrow
He’s got it under control
Trust in the Lord, with all your heart
And He will carry you through

I sang it to you repeatedly and it soothed me, knowing that God has everything under control. This morning, when I changed your diaper, I was so relieved to see that it was definitely more yellow than the poos you’ve had recently. I immediately called for daddy to take a look too and he agreed that it looked more yellowish than green.

We brought you to church today for the first time and although you slept through quite a bit of it, it’s a step forward for us. I had to nurse you quite a bit but at least you hardly cried. You were such a good boy when you had to get your diaper changed! Auntie Angela was a great help, accompanying us to the loo, holding all our stuff and handing mummy the wet wipes, a sheet at a time. She, too, agreed that your poo was dark yellow, rather than green. Thank God for hearing our prayers and healing you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Be a good boy, darling. We pray that God will continue to bless you with good health and keep you safe.

With all my love,
Mummy

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With all my Love… #4

Dear Noah,

You just had a marathon crying session, from about 830pm to 1015pm, the longest you’ve had so far. I’ve never felt so helpless before, trying desperately to soothe you in whatever ways I could. I think you were overtired and just couldn’t manage to get back to sleep on your own. You tried suckling, which usually manages to make you fall asleep within 15 minutes, but tonight, it didn’t work. I thought you might have needed to burp, so I tried burping you, which also didn’t work. You screamed away, kicking and pushing me wildly, with tears rolling down your cheeks.

To be honest, I’ve always been thankful that you weren’t a screamer and that you were relatively easy to pacify, if your needs were met before you got really upset. The only times you would really scream would be when I’m changing your diaper or trying to put you into a romper. But on those occasions, once I was done, you would calm down and a quick suckle would usually help in getting you to sleep. You also cry a little when I wash your hair but the crying stops when you go into the bathtub for your bath. Every now and then, you’d cry when you have to get out of the bathtub, but the crying usually lasts for half a minute. You really have never cried for such a long period of time before!

Just now, I tried massaging your belly gently, jiggling your butt the way the PD showed us, putting you down on our bed, but nothing worked. I was desperate. I swaddled you as tightly as I could, went ‘shhhhhhhhhhh’ loudly in your ear and tried jiggling you from side to side, the way Dr Krup did in his videos. You stopped crying for a while before wailing at the top of your voice. Finally, I switched off the night light, popped you on my shoulder and patted you frantically while going ‘shhhhhhhhhhh’, praying fervently for God to please PLEASE make you comfortable so that you would stop crying. The wailing finally stopped but your eyes remained open, as you whined and kicked feebly every now and then. It took another half an hour before you finally fell asleep and I dared to put you back into your cot. You’re asleep now and I really hope that this is the first and last time that you’d cry so much. It broke my heart to see you so miserable.

While we’re at it, could you also please stop crying when I change your diapers? You’ve been through the routine often enough for you to know that it’s not a bad thing. I mean, you get a clean diaper! You can’t possibly enjoy lying/sitting in your own poop for hours, right? The same goes for putting on your clothes. I know it seems scary when something is pulled over your head, and I admit that I sometimes don’t manage to get it over your head in one go. But struggling just makes things worse, and so does stiffening your arms so that I can’t pull them through the sleeves. If you cooperate with me, we’d be done much faster with the diaper and outfit changes. Try it and you’ll see.

One last thing. It is not protocol to poop or pee when your diaper is removed. I have no idea who told you that that was the way to go (no pun intended) but I really hate it when you do that. Not cool, son. Not cool at all. I can’t remember how many times I’ve had to wipe up all the disgusting poop from the changing mat or had to change your clothes because the huge puddle of poop/pee got to them. Please wait until you are wearing a diaper properly, before you do your business, okay?

I’ve been told that I will miss having you at this stage. I do love looking at your sweet little face and hearing you coo. Even your warning whimpers are adorable, because as your daddy puts it, you have this ‘so poor thing’ look. I love it when you smile at me, or rather, in my general direction, as I suspect you’re probably just smiling at nothing in particular. I love holding you in my arms as you suckle, and having you lie on me as you fall asleep. Please continue to be our little angelic baby and don’t ever cry like that again… mummy can’t handle so much crying!

With all my love,
Mummy

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With all my love… #3

Hey sweetheart,

Yesterday, we had a simple lunch buffet with our relatives and friends for your first month celebration. You were such a well-behaved baby throughout the six hours or so that we were out, even though it was your first time being among so many people at the same time. Daddy and mummy are so proud of you for being so good-natured, darling!

To be honest, we were very nervous about the celebration. It was our first time bringing you out for such an extended period of time and we really didn’t know how you would handle it. Daddy and mummy prayed really hard the night before, and asked God to grant you a good night’s rest as well as to keep you comfortable throughout the day, and He did! You slept from 1am to 530am, and I was so surprised when I woke up and saw a bit of light streaming in from outside, instead of the usual pitch dark conditions that I’ve gotten used to over the past few weeks. You were also very cooperative as we bustled around trying to get you ready for your big day out, apart from your usual wail-fest during your bath. You have to try to be brave when you take your baths, darling. I know it seems very scary, but you know that mummy is holding you and I won’t drop you, right?

Anyway, when we arrived at Clover by the Park where Gan Yiyi lives, you were sleeping so soundly. It was as though you knew you needed to rest before the guests arrived and you actually woke up in time to say hi to all the uncles and aunties! When you’re older, baby, you’ll probably meet all of them again, and perhaps be able to actually recognise them. Just know that you are loved by so many people and that it is a real blessing to have them all in our lives.

Here you are, taking your nap. I love it when you are sleeping so peacefully!

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Mummy made matching outfits for you and daddy! Daddy’s tee says, “Who’s your daddy?” and your romper says, “You are!”

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Auntie Serene was very nice and did up the hot-air balloons and pom-pom flowers in the background for us!

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Mummy also ordered a cake for you and daddy from Bees Cakes and everyone loved it. Mummy will get you another cake when you are old enough to actually eat your own cake okay?

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Uncle Edward and our church friends prayed for you at the celebration too. We asked God to protect you from all harm and danger, to keep you healthy and strong, to let your hands be raised in praise and thanksgiving to God and your feet be ones that walked the extra mile for others. We also asked for your heart to be filled with compassion for the less fortunate, for you to be blessed with wisdom from above so that you will always be able to discern right from wrong, and that you will grow up to be a God-fearing man. We asked for God’s wisdom to be upon us too, that we might be the best possible parents for you. Above all, we asked that God be ever-present in our lives, guiding us in all that we do.

It was a lovely day, all in all, although you were so tired that I had to bring you up to Gan Yiyi’s house to calm you down so that you could nap. Daddy also noticed that you were turning slightly blue and that you were shivering, most probably because I had just nursed you in a rather cold room, so it was good that we went up for a while too. Poor baby! You fell asleep so quickly once there was less activity going on around you that I know you must have been exhausted.

Mummy’s going to take a nap now since you’re napping too. If you think you’re tired, try being me! Getting you to sleep at night is such a challenge on most occasions and I really pray that you will learn how to fall (and stay) asleep on your own very VERY soon. You’re generally such an angel that I know I shouldn’t complain, but boy, I sure would appreciate it if you would start enjoying your baths and diaper changes, and learn to be a better sleeper. As soon as possible please, darling! Daddy’s leaving for another work trip on Monday, and this time round, he’s going to be away for two whole weeks. Be a good boy for mummy, okay? Please?

Happy first month, darling. We love you very very much.

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With all my love,
Mummy

PS. For those of you interested in ordering cakes or cupcakes from Bees Cakes, please do place your orders way in advance if you want them on a weekend. She needs time to make all those lovely decorations! If you have a particularly large order, weekdays might be a safer bet, as she might have more time to fill your order then. Enjoy! ๐Ÿ™‚

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With all my love… #2

My dearest baby boy,

You’re a week old today! We’ve been home for five days now and slowly trying to get into some sort of routine. Daddy has taken you on a tour around the house already, and I hope you’re enjoying your new bed and room.

Here’s a photo of you at seven days old, swaddled tightly and sleeping soundly.

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You’re taking your nap at the moment and I must say I’m thankful that you generally nap quite well, waking up only for your feeds. Your grandparents love watching you sleep and find your every move fascinating! Me? I love it when I’m feeding you and you fall into this milk-induced sleepy state that causes you to give me a wide smile at times. I’ve tried capturing these moments but I haven’t been fast enough to do so yet. It’s as though you know that I’m pointing the camera at you and you would immediately stop smiling! Yes, I know that you’re not actually smiling AT me, but one day, you will, and I can’t wait for that to happen. ๐Ÿ™‚

You’ve still got jaundice at the moment and we have to bring you for another check-up tomorrow afternoon. The confinement lady has been bringing you downstairs in the mornings for quick sunning sessions, so hopefully that will help. Daddy and mummy have been praying for you to recover too and we trust that God will heal you completely.

Oh and your dried up umbilical cord fell off after your morning bath yesterday! I wasn’t there when it happened, but daddy was. I took a photo of it next to you and it’s a good thing that I did, because daddy threw it away after that! So here it is, your tiny dried up umbilical cord, next to you. You look suitably disgusted by it!

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Continue being a good boy okay, baby? Drink your milk (daddy keeps a very close watch on how much you drink, so no falling asleep halfway through your feeds, please!) and know that you are very precious to us.

With all my love,
Mama

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With all my love… #1

My dearest baby boy,

It’s just past midnight now and you have officially turned 38 weeks old. Daddy and I just said a little prayer to God, thanking Him for seeing us through the past 38 weeks and asking Him to help you to grow more. You see, the last time we saw you in the doctor’s clinic, you hadn’t put on any weight since our visit the week before. That’s a real cause for concern because you are supposed to put on about 200g each week!

I’ve been trying my best to eat more this week but it hasn’t been easy because daddy and I have been down with the flu. Poor daddy still has quite a bad cold, perhaps because he’s been very busy with work and hasn’t had much time to rest. That’s how much daddy loves you and me, baby. He works very hard so that mummy can stay home to rest throughout this pregnancy and for at least the next few months after you’re born. You might not get to see him daily because he has to travel overseas for work sometimes, but never for one second think that he doesn’t love you, because he does, so very much.

I often wonder if you can hear me talking and singing to you. If you can, you’ll know how much I love you too, and how precious you are to us. My heart aches at the thought of you not getting enough nutrients to continue growing and I feel so guilty, as though I have failed you in some way, even before you’re born. Please grow more, baby. I’ve been saying this to you over the past few days and I really hope that you are taking in more nutrients, so that when we go for our next check-up on Saturday, you would have put on at least 200g, okay?

Do you know how much I love feeling you move around in my womb? I love it when you respond to my little pats or when you suddenly press yourself against a part of my belly, as though you’re asking me to pat you or give you some attention. You get the hiccups quite regularly too, and I will always tell you that hiccups are normal and that they will stop after a while. And they do, don’t they? ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope you’ll be a strong, healthy and happy child, Noah. The world is a tough place but we will do all we can to ensure that you have a happy childhood. Papa often talks about how he will play a variety of sports with you and I hope the two of you will have plenty of fun bonding over the different games. We both play hockey, or rather, I used to play while papa still actively does, and we hope you’ll love it too. After all, that’s how papa and mama met! I’m already looking forward to bringing you to watch papa play in September, so please be an easy-going baby okay? I know all of papa’s team mates will love to see you there.

I don’t know what your personality is going to be like, but we pray that you will grow up to be one who loves God and is well-loved by all. You’re going to hear the story of Noah many times in the future and some people may tease you about your name. But I hope you’ll be brave about it and not be affected by the teasing. We chose this name for you because in the Bible, Noah was a God-fearing man and God loved Noah very much, choosing to save only him and his family when he flooded the earth. Your Chinese name, ๅฅ• ไป, means abundant compassion, a trait which we feel is very important and hope that you will have. We will do our best to inculcate good values in you, because that’s ultimately what matters. Yes, of course we hope that you’ll be intelligent and good-looking too, but these will not count for much if you don’t have a good character.

As you are our first child, it’s inevitable that we will make some mistakes along the way as we learn how to be good parents. Please be patient with us and know that we are trying our best. Know also that all our actions are driven by our love for you and that we have your best interests at heart.

We love you very much, darling, and we look forward to meeting you soon. Be a good boy and gain more weight, okay?

With all my love,
Mummy (also known as Mama to you at times)

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